1999 Australia and New Zealand

Note, this had been previously published, but I added some photos and have now RE-published it in 2022.

September 23

Egads. Three weeks exploring Down Under with only the two of us together. We knew it was going to be interesting. It sure took LOTS of planning. First on the trip logistics themselves, and then on everything else necessary to increase our chances of having a still-standing house upon our return.

The getting-there part of the trip was every bit as grueling as we had anticipated. Most of the problems involved sleep or lack thereof. New Zealand is 16 hours ahead of us. It never failed to hurt my brain when figuring that out. A slightly easier way to think of it was that they're 8 hours behind and a day ahead. It meant we would have to stay awake much later than usual on the trip to start getting the hang of their time.

September 24

They can keep their @#! food and give us some #@! leg-room. That was Debbie’s comment, but I feel the same way. The trip from LA to Auckland took about 13 hours during which we saw 3 movies and were given 3 nice meals. Unfortunately, the plane's cattle class was set up in such a way that even sardines would march out in protest. 10 seats across and about 1.4 centimeters between the rows of seats. Where do the knees go? - That's the first question everyone was asking as they got on. And don't get me started on getting in and out of the seats while maintaining a 45-degree body angle! We slept a bit on those flights, but it was certainly not restful sleep.

September 25

I wanna live right here. After that grueling trip, getting out of our rental car (a Mitsubishi Lancer) Debbie immediately said the whole ordeal was worthwhile just for this. "This" was Christchurch, one of the most beautiful cities on this planet. (I'm not the first to say that either.) We got out of the car at the city's largest of many parks and began walking. If two people ever needed to walk, it was us. And walk we did. All morning and into the afternoon. Within the park is the city's Botanic Gardens. The day was gorgeous, lots of families were out and the spring flowers and gardens were as nice as any we've seen anywhere. We decided that (move over Big Island of Hawaii), THIS is where we really want to live.

After the parks, we did some more walking at the Arts Centre, drove up into the mountains to the south for some great views of the city, then got cleaned up and did some MORE walking in the City Centre, eventually finding a place for dinner. We had lamb. The other 44 bazillion sheep on the island didn’t notice that this one was missing.

Stupid cultural misunderstandings. We had lots, but this one was typical. As we were checking into our first hotel in New Zealand, the lady asks "Would you like some milk?" Debbie looked at me, and said, "do we need any milk?" not having the slightest idea what we would want it for. Of course, neither did I, so I said no, I don't think we need any milk. When we got up to our room we figured it out: there was coffee and tea with a hot-water maker, and it was teatime! We were also offered milk at each subsequent hotel, although a few already had it in the fridge. Live and learn. We’ll never turn milk down again.

Debbie also wanted me to mention the toilets. When we collaborate on our book, "Toilets of the World" we'll certainly note that those of New Zealand are cone shaped, with two buttons, one for a small flush and one for a BIG flush. When to use which is left to the imagination. Men’s toilets sometimes consist of a stainless steel wall with a grate to stand on, over a drain. And if you are in need, New Zealand is the place to be; toilets - Clean Toilets - are everywhere. Each and every burg and hamlet sports a large sign boasting about their public toilets. New Zealanders must be horrified when visiting the US.

September 26

This place is wild! After experiencing the beautiful town and the extremely civilized (more like Brits than Brits are - they say "excuse me" just for breaking eye contact to get your food while serving you at McDonalds) inhabitants, I was surprised during my 5am run that this otherwise extremely quiet city was hopping, jamming and otherwise going wild still from the night before. After we had seen all those runners around the park the day before, I was somewhat of a sore thumb trying to run through all that ruckus.

The drive from Christchurch to Queenstown took a good 8 hours. There was almost no other traffic of any kind at all. Of course we made stops for meals and to take pictures of all the scenery. Lots of sheep. And domestic deer. And hedge fencing. After a while you get tired of spectacular views, which never really stop. The sheep never stop either.

Queenstown is strictly a tourist town, sort of like Jackson Hole, Wyoming. The setting, on a lake surrounded by mountains is breathtaking, but I'm running out of superlatives. It's fairly crowded too. We walked about town, saw some Kiwis (the birds, not the people) and other native birds at a bird reserve, ate at a famous restaurant called the Boardwalk which is right on the lake, and then took the Gondola (cable car) trip up the mountain in the evening. Lots of screaming from Debbie as the thing goes almost straight up for 1300 feet or so. Spectacular (now I have run out) views from the top.

September 27

It sure gets cold here in Queenstown. Close to freezing. And windy/blustery as well. After walking around town some more we ate a quick lunch and headed to Te Anau. Te Anau is on the way to Milford Sound, and otherwise in the middle of nowhere. Our Hotel was 30 km outside of this nowhere place, although it’s uncertain how you can be 30 km outside of nowhere. There's only the one road going into/out of Milford and the Te Anau Downs Motor Inn is on it, along with nothing else but sheep.

Debbie and I took a wilderness hike down to Mistletoe Lake. Extremely quiet, except for all the bird songs. We saw a couple of the famous New Zealand fat pigeons, and heard the varied songs of the black/blue birds with the white thingies on their necks.




Bought food in town for meals since there are no restaurants at all around. Interesting trip to the local supermarket.

The real highlight of the day was the stars in the evening. They were every bit as bright as they are in the U.P. We saw the Milky Way, a shooting star, Mars, and some things you can never see in the Northern Hemisphere: Magellenic Clouds, Alpha Centauri (our nearest start), a globular cluster (through the binocs) and the Southern Cross. Fantabulous.

September 28

I ran for 15 miles (somewhat under 2 hours) on one road (the ONLY road) and encountered only 4 vehicles and a helicopter. One local, hauling his sheep dogs stopped to talk, and although we were both smiling a lot, we couldn't find a mutual language with which to communicate. Recall the milk fiasco. Anyway, it was a beautiful early morning (frosty) run.

We had debated whether to try Doubtful Sound, which was an expensive all day cruise or Milford Sound which was much less costly providing you drive there, and shorter. We were happy with the latter plan; the drive over, through Fiordland National Park was almost unbelievable - better than any National park I've seen anywhere. And the cruise itself was great.

Several stops on the way through the park meant many, many pictures of lakes with mountains, as well as rivers with mountains, and some mountains by themselves. We saw a kea: an extremely friendly New Zealand parrot. He tried to dismantle our car, and then almost hopped into the car with us when it was time to leave.

Milford Sound is not really a sound; it's a fiord. We were told the difference, but I forget... Oh yeah. A sound is caused by glaciers. Anyway, after using the "s" word (spectacular) so much elsewhere, there aren't many words left for Milford Sound. Maybe Double-Spectacular. The day was gorgeous, and we went all the way out to the Tasman sea, where it suddenly became windy with waves. We spotted seals and penguins during the return trip. The group of ethnic people that all crowded onto the front of the boat and sang some ethnic version of cumbaya was interesting as well.

During our late afternoon walk, Debbie and I observed some interesting birds once again, along with our fat pigeon friend again.

September 29

Well, I beat yesterday's record. This time there was only one other car during my run, and that was just before I turned in our place to finish up. Not even the farmer in the pickup from yesterday.

Possums are a nuisance here - they're all over the dang place. And since they often end up as roadkill, the locals call them "squash-ums". They appear to us to be more like weasels than our possums back home. Naturally, when we see one on the road we each try to be the first to yell, "SQUASH-UM!".

With all the driving we've been doing (between 3 and 8 hours a day) we see our share of squash-ums. I'm sort of getting used to this driving on the left stuff too. (Debbie still screams a lot.) I only forget once in a while and wipe out an occasional pedestrian or sheep. Turns were tough at first, but I got the hang of those pretty quickly. Still having a tough time with round-abouts though. The signs say, "Give Way", and I say "To Whom???".

Here on the South Island there is nothing even resembling an interstate highway; almost all the roads are 2-lanes. But since there are only around 12 other cars here, these 2-lanes are more than sufficient.

Dunedin (pronounced dunEEdin) seemed livelier than Christchurch, even considering those early-morning revelers. Dunedin is a college town - the famous University of Otago is here - and there was quite a party outside our room's back windows in the evening. We walked a lot, but were too tired from all the hard driving to really enjoy the town very much. We saw the Otago Early Settlers Museum (where the first words out of the receptionist's mouth were, "The toilets are this way..."), and ate dinner at Portraits at the Abbey Hotel. Earlier we had done our shopping at Peggydales.

September 30

There was more traffic on the trip from Dunedin back to Christchurch than anywhere else so far. By this point we were REALLY tired of all the driving. Functional air conditioning would have helped. And we're not even in Australia yet.

We stopped to see the Moerke? Bolders, which are definitely alien life forms. They are said to be "concretions" formed by the build up of minerals. But these are the same people that tell us that nothing happened at Roswel. The really scary part is that some of them have hatched!

I've been remarking on the scenery, but not so much on the New Zealanders themselves. They are gracious and kind to strangers almost to a fault. Everyone we encountered genuinely wanted to serve us and make our stay a pleasurable one. And of course it was. No one that we encountered was the least bit unfriendly or surly, whether they were serving us or merely encountering other drivers on the road; you almost never hear the “Toot of the Angry Horn” in New Zealand. The service could have been a bit faster/more efficient at times, but it didn't bother us - especially since there is almost no tipping.

Prices were excellent too - generally better than in the States. Nobody ever tried to gauge us, even when they certainly had an excuse to do so, like when they were the only restaurant or petrol within scores of miles. We'll really miss this place.

Met some friendly Kiwis (the people, not the birds) on the flight to Brisbane. They had just seen Bill Clinton who was in New Zealand just a couple weeks prior. Turned out that he had been to the same restaurant in Queenstown that we had. There were some interesting stories and such. And speaking of stories, the lady who ran our Brisbane Hotel wouldn't stop talking about her trip to Michigan. We got a kick out of her.

I just caught a cough and cold. Boo Hoo.


October 01

Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Buses and Boats. Except maybe for the trains. Of course that may change... We somehow made it to Gladstone, which is well north of Brisbane. We immediately started re-arranging our travel plans to get back to Brisbane after our time at Heron Island, and then on from there. Debbie says I'm always her toughest client, as I'm always trying to optimize our plans. I'm proud to hold that distinction.

Bus to the boat and the boat to Heron Island. That 2 hour boat trip was a real puke-o-rama. I'm sure glad I had taken my Bonine for motion sickness, otherwise I would have been grabbing for barf bags with the rest of them. As it turned out, I was knocked out by the drug and slept the whole way, while Debbie actually enjoyed the rocking of the boat and watching everyone lose their lunches. Well, maybe she didn't actually enjoy that last part, but it did keep her entertained.

When we finally got to the island, everyone from the boat was disoriented to some extent. The combination of the drugs, my cough (which I'm beginning to believe is more like the flu or some sort of sinus infection), and still being dizzy from the boat really did me in. I was like a zombie for the rest of the day and evening. Debbie wasn't 100% either.

The first thing you notice about Heron Island (other than its size, which is miniscule) are the birds. Billions and Billions of them - all shapes and sizes, and all intent on letting humans know that they're the ones in charge. Noddy terns, herons (of course), doves, seagulls (of course) are all over. Some fly right at your head, or have nests in trees along the walking paths inches from where your head passes. We always need to be careful when looking up.

Heron Island is the only resort where you can walk right out onto/into the Great Barrier Reef. We're also inside a national park. There is some sort of University Research Station here as well.

Since the place is so ridiculously expensive, we expected that the food, which is included in the "tariff" would be very good. And I thought it was. Debbie’s not so hot about it. She ate only one bite of our steak dinner (which I enjoyed) and quit, saying it was too “animally”. I think she was still woozy from the boat. Of course I would not let her forget her comment for the rest of the trip. As in, I don’t like those green beans; they’re too “vegetabally”.

We went to the stargazing talk in the evening. Very interesting and informative. The stars had been brighter in New Zealand, however. When one of the southern hemisphere type people asked if we can see the Milky Way in the north, I answered that, yes you can, but it appears right-side up.

October 02

I'm a bit better today. Still have the sinus infection or whatever, but the dizziness is mostly gone. Still somewhat out of whack though; my muscles and joints ache a whole lot. Debbie is fine now.

We went on a reef walk with the resort's guide. She showed us lots of creepy crawly critters, including about 6 different types of sea cucumbers, which Debbie and I refer to as sea slugs. Maybe sea turds would be a better description. We're starting to wonder if these things might be the aliens that were born of those boulders in New Zealand. We also saw sea stars and about 200 different kinds of coral. A cute little shark came to visit, swimming between many folks' legs.

Next we went on a bird walk with another guide. This was quite interesting too. There are about 300 birds per cubic foot here on the island. We keep thinking that with all the noises they make, they're plotting and massing for an attack, ala "The Birds".

I snorkeled in the afternoon and saw lots of stingrays and one easy-going big shark.

October 03

Debbie and I circumnavigated the island after breakfast. Didn't take much more than 45 minutes or so.

I then went off for my snorkel boat trip. Saw lots of colorful fish and coral; more than you can see from shore. Also saw another shark and a sea turtle. I don't know if it was the cold water or the standing in the pouring rain for 1/2 hour waiting to get on the boat (we were going to get wet anyway...) but my illness took a turn for the worse in the afternoon. I wound up with a fever. What now, pneumonia?

"Pardon me, but may I come in and place something into your toiletry system?" Our answer was certainly in the affirmative. The toilets here had been about to get a very poor rating in our "Toilets of the World" book. Debbie had even complained when we first arrived. It did improve with whatever they did. Maybe we’ll move that rating up a notch.

October 04

I felt a little better again today after yesterday's fever. Just to be sure, I went to see the nurse. She gave me some medicine, but I decided not to take any because I was about to take the Bonine for the dreaded boat trip back to the mainland.

In spite of my illness, I really liked Heron Island. It certainly is a "very natural place", as they say. The birds and the reef (better than your average barrier reef) really do make it special. Debbie enjoyed the reef and the birds as well, but felt that we can get the same sort of thing, with more luxury, for a lot less money, a lot closer to home. I suppose I could agree with her on most of that, but I liked the food better than she, and we both thought highly of the service, including the guides.

So we probably will not be back, but I am happy to have had the experience. Now if I can only recover from this #@#! illness.

It was fortuitous that I only took one, instead of the usual two Bonine tablets. That's because this is one of those cases where the cure is almost as bad as the disease, and it turned out that the boat ride back wasn't bad at all. No one at all got sick this time around. Didn't spot any whales either.

What was bad, however, was waiting in the Gladstone Airport for over 5 hours for our flight back to Brisbane. The change of plans the other day had been to fly rather than drive for this leg of the journey to "make it easier on us". Didn't get in until after midnight. The joys of travelling. We did have some long conversations with a few nice Australian folks while waiting. So it really wasn’t all that bad.

October 05

I was starting to feel almost sub-human. But now Debbie decided to catch whatever I had. We can only hope that her version won't be as bad. We'll try to keep her out of the snorkel gear.

Trying to navigate our way from one side of Brisbane to another proved to be a difficult task. We spent a good deal of an hour or so going the wrong direction in the wrong area. Finally, when we were at our most-lost point, in spite of everything, to our complete surprise, we actually got to our destination: the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary in Fig Tree Pocket. Of all things! For as lost as we were, it could have just as well been Ayers Rock.

We saw lots of Koalas, and I got to hold one (Lisa) for a picture and an extra fee. We also saw Kangaroos and Wallabies (you could walk right up and touch them too), as well as Wombats, Tasmanian Devils, Kookaburras, and lots of these other strange critters from OZ.

It took less than an hour (including minimal being-lost time) to get to our next hotel in the Gold Coast area. This part of Australia is a lot like our Miami Beach - high-rise hotels, bright lights, and excitement. We stayed south of Surfer's Paradise and Broadbeach in Burleigh Heads, where things were slightly quieter. There are very nice parks for walking along the shore.

We bought what I hope will be the LAST pair of glasses that Debbie will require for this trip; she had lost sunglasses in an New Zealand toilet so we replaced those there, and she had broken her reading glasses so we bought a pair of those in Burleigh. She was starting to feel a bit better in the evening after the Chinese restaurant for dinner.

October 06

These Aussies are every bit as friendly as the Kiwis. Every single person we've encountered, whether they were there to provide service or not, has been exceedingly friendly. There are more of the Aussies though. And we've therefore heard the Toot of the Angry Horn a bit more often here. But it is still a much friendlier place to drive (or to do anything else) than in the states.

With the roads almost the same as they are in New Zealand, we're moving a lot slower simply because of the greater volume of cars (and cops). Today we drove to Kempsey - about halfway to Sydney. We stopped to see the Trial Bay “Gaol”, a jail, no longer in use, built in the 1800's on a beautiful spot by the sea. We saw some other great seascapes as well, at the nearby lighthouse in Hat Head National Park.

October 07

And we thought navigating our way through Brisbane was a challenge! Talk about nerve-racking. It took us about 6 hours to get to the outskirts of Sydney, and then forever, give or take a fortnight, to get through it to the other side of town. That's our problem - we're always going to the other side of something.

And nerve-racking it was. We were never really badly lost; it was just tough to drive through the traffic on the narrow, crowded streets. Just like any big metropolis - you shouldn't even THINK about driving here. And parking? hahahaha. And and and heaven help you if you accidentally wind up driving in a bus-lane.

This Unilodge Hotel is really a weird joint. Although it was a bit less expensive than some of the other hotels, it's a mile or more from most of the city's attractions. We took the bus downtown to the pier, where we walked for a while before getting on the Sydney Harbor Cruise. Really beautiful - especially at and after sunset. I hope at least some of the 340 photos I took come out. After a warm day, it was VERY cold on that boat. We were dressed for the occasion, but Debbie is pretty ill.

October 08

This really is a nice city. Too bad it's so far away. And crowded.

We bought tickets that allowed us to take a bus around the city and get off where we wanted and then get back on another bus. Great way to see the city. We walked around Darlington Harbor (where some of the Olympic events will be held), then stopped at the aquarium (where we saw some fishes and sea slugs), walked around (but not in for very far) the opera house, and finally walked around the (slightly risqué') King's Cross area.

Long day, but we sure saw a lot. Debbie's case of the flu seems to be at it's worst, too. She probably has a fever.

October 09

The bars sure stay open late. I encountered many an inebriated Aussie coming out of the bars, during my 5:00 am run. Sort of like Christchurch except much more so.

Never a dull moment. Or I should say, never a wasted moment. Today we drove to the Blue Mountains. The national park is only around 90 minutes west of Sydney. We stopped at several spots to take pictures; all the vistas were very scenic. Some started to get crowded as the day wore on.

And speaking of crowded, it turned out to be the "Garden Festival" day in the mountain town of Leura. Nice town, beautiful flowers and lots of interesting crafts. Lots of people too. Wall to wall.

On the way back, we stopped at the new Olympic Park, where most of the events will be held. Although we could have taken a tour or paid $12 to park and see the stadium, we chose to just drive around and act lost, which we were. At least we got to see the stadium from the outside.

We've been generally eating a large meal around 2:00 pm after bakery, yogurt and fruit for “brekky” (or is it breakie?). Then we have bakery or something light in the evening. Funny thing about these lunch cafes: sometimes you get your soup, salad and main dish (don't call it an entree) all at the same time. We're always on our toes!

Debbie's a bit better now.

October 10

Today there was a dull moment. In a rare bit of poor planning, we had decided to spend this day getting halfway from Sydney to Melbourne and to stay in the small hamlet of Albury, New South Wales. As it turned out, we probably could have made it all the way to Melbourne quite easily. I think part of the problem was that these plans were made during Debbie's wine-drinking days, and there are several wineries around that we wound up skipping. The other problem is a different last-minute plan change: we're going straight into Melbourne as opposed to going further along the coast, which would've taken longer - we may still get the coast in as a side trip.

Whereas the highways from Brisbane to Sydney were slow and boring (with long stretches where there is only one lane each way), these from Sydney to Melbourne are smooth and fast. Still a bit dull though. The rolling hills were pretty, however, and many were covered with purple flowers. For only the second time on the trip, we encountered a rain shower. The first was on Heron Island.

Australia is exactly like America except:

1) the people here are generally nice
2) the people here generally obey traffic laws
3) there are some really weird animals here
4) the place names are ludicrous:
there's Dubbo, WaggaWagga, WeeWaa, Coonabarbran, Woolgoolga, Cootamundra, Toowoomba

And these are just some of the towns we drove through or nearby.

October 11

I really think those laughing Kookaburras are laughing at me. I hear them when I run, and I don't particularly like being the butt of their silly jokes. And don't get me started about those scheming Magpies... We've also been seeing Cockatoos and Crimson Rosellas along the roads as we've been driving.

Melbourne is every bit as lively and crowded as Sydney. It's almost as large, and has a very interesting mix of new and old architecture; quite often a new skyscraper will be sitting right next to a very old looking 100+ year old building.

We walked around the botanic gardens as well as other parks and gardens - there are plenty to go around. We also walked around the nearby coastal town of St Kilda. Lots going on there too. Nobody was swimming at the beach; it was cool and rain was falling off and on. We ate at a very fancy restaurant on the bay call Stokehouse. Debbie was self-conscious of her cold sores that came on after the flu. But she shouldn't have been. She should have been self-conscious because we were the only people in the restaurant who (with our t-shirts and windbreakers and jeans) looked like ragamuffins that the wind and rain blew in. That was all ok though; we're Americans.

Met a couple from Wisconsin at our hotel. It was interesting to compare notes.

October 12

We went out with a bang, not a whimper. For our last full day in Oz, we decided to explore the Great Ocean Road. This took us through some spectacular coastal scenery west of Melbourne, all the way to Port Campbell.

It was quite a drive. Port Campbell is about 160 miles from Melbourne, but with all the zigzagging and some brief stops it took us 8 hours to get there. It was certainly worth the trip however. We got to see the 12 Apostles, Loch Ard Gorge, Moonlight Head, and other famous sights. There was even a rainforest and our first sight of Koalas in the wild.

After all that tiring sightseeing, it only took 2 and 1/2 hours to return to Melbourne via a different road. Still a loooong day.

I think that now we're ready for our trip home.

October 13

Here we sit. In LA. Waiting (being held captive) for the weather-induced traffic problems in Detroit to be resolved. At least we made it this far. We had the other delay in Gladstone, but I suppose these coulda been worse. But then maybe I should reserve judgement until we're actually on the ground in Motown.

Anyhoo, time for reflection. We sure saw and did a lot for the time (on the order of 20 days total) and money (on the order of $7500). There isn't a whole lot we'd have done differently. We're really happy to have done the things we done. Maybe a few things that we would do differently next time, though.

Like spending much more (or maybe all) of the time in New Zealand. We loved it that much. Not that Australia was bad; we enjoyed that too. But anywhere else would pale in comparison. Next time we do go to both countries, we'd like to see some other places. The North Island of New Zealand is also supposed to be nice, but not quite as spectacular. There are some parts of South Island that we'd still like to see, including Invercargil, Stewart Island and Doubtful Sound. In Australia, we'd like to see Tasmania, Perth and points west, and parts of the tropical north as well as (maybe) the outback.

As it was, we chose well to see what highlights we could. The planning was mostly right-on. If anything, we may have been able to drive from the Gold Coast to Sydney, and from Sydney to Melbourne in one day each. But being conservative had its rewards too; we got to see some areas that are not frequented by visitors quite so much.

The scenery was great throughout. Although New Zealand couldn't have been better, what we saw of Australia was actually very nice too. We think we saw most of the best of it though; the outback areas would probably be less interesting. We were thrilled with the birds and other wildlife. Lots of variety! Finally the people were great. New Zealanders just seem to love travelers. They go out of their way to be helpful. The Aussies were almost as nice. The only real problem there was that there were more of them. Sydney and Melbourne are great cities, glittering jewels, but they are still cities, in the sense that they have lots and lots of people. Still, American cities can learn a lot from them in terms of having vibrant downtown areas and keeping urban sprawl under control.

As I've already half-jokingly noted, Australia is a lot like America: better in some ways, like the cities, and behind in others, like highways and crime (where they have a long way to go to catch us). New Zealand is in a class by itself.